Chivalry is not a word you hear much of nowadays. In speaking with several of my female friends, the majority agree that they notice it when a man acts a certain way, in what would be described as a chivalrous manner. And, it’s a good thing! Only one really voiced her concerns about it appearing sexist.
As I researched this word, there were several definitions. However, the one that really hit it on the head for me was “courteous behavior, especially that of a man toward women”.
I have to admit, as I grew up, my father taught good manners. In fact, they would be pounded into my head. This included chivalrous mannerisms, which have stuck with me, throughout my entire life. I certainly try to instill these things with my son and even my daughters.
Whether you agree or not, people notice, and are usually appreciative that you would take the extra time to make them feel even more special. So, here are a few things that I have practiced, not always perfectly, but I’m continually trying to improve (in no particular order):
- Pulling out chairs – when seating.
- Stair etiquette – going up, you should be behind. Going down, you should be in front. If there’s room, being beside is just fine.
- Holding the door – I’ve never had a woman scold me for holding a door open for them. In fact, it has always been the opposite.
- Elevators – let the women on and off first.
- Dropping off – walk them to the door. Or, at the very least, watch and wait until they get in safely.
- Check if they got home OK – if they leave before you, in a separate vehicle, don’t be afraid to check if they got home OK. A simple text is usually appreciated.
- The last bite of shared food – always hers, always.
- Put her jacket on – with my last girlfriend, this was a common practice. I started to notice others, in restaurants etc., watching and smiling. In some other couples, sometimes the girl would hit the guy and point to us. Hilarious.
- Pay sincere compliments – do it often. Her dress, hair, smile, something she accomplished, or something about her character…she will appreciate it.
- Go get the car – where I live, weather can be unpredictable. Warm up the car if it’s freezing. Go get it if it’s raining, snowing, or really cold. It’s just a nice thing to do.
- Fill up her tank and wash her car – I don’t know of too many women who like to do this. So, if you’re close, don’t be afraid to help with this.
- The “girly” movie – yup, it’s a sacrifice for some…just bite the bullet.
- Send flowers/cards/notes – there is nothing more heart filling to know you’re being thought about by someone you love.
- Romantic getaways – a quarterly getaway can be a huge relationship builder. It could be as simple as going to hotel, downtown, for the night. Enjoy each other.
- The outside of the sidewalk – this is a little known one but my Dad taught to always walk closet to the road, when walking with a lady. It’s so engrained now, it feels completely weird when I don’t.
- Don’t worry about lateness – it will happen, it’s for you, get over it
Over the years, these things have taught me a great deal. So, keep it up…you’ll stand out.
Feel free to leave your comments, other chivalrous acts that I didn’t think of, and any great experiences. Finally, don’t forget to subscribe and share. Thanks!